…if you can move in oneness with your thought and oneness with breathing, that is moving meditation.
Lee in Seshadri, 2011, 10

Practice began in my small room.

My sanctuary, my inner space. [journal, September 26]

It is in this space that a series of questions started to emerge.

What are the sorts of movement patterns and concepts that arise when movement is confined to such a small space? [journal, September 26]

I started with just walking:

Awareness completely on feet…Became more aware of entire foot - different parts of foot coming into contact…- gently, sensually…also, the back foot waiting for its turn. Walk shifted to dance. Breath and pace began to increase. [journal, November 21st]

From that simple act, an everyday act, other movement emerges… new ways of walking, new embellishments to walking. When does walking become movement; when does movement become dance? [journal, September 25]

refer Video 1

Awareness through the act of walking was inspired by workshop sessions in Singapore - Zen Dance with Dr. Sun-Ock Lee and in Butoh with Syv Bruzeau. Both these forms introduced me to the concept of stillness, slowness, awareness and the sense of a “moving meditation.” (Lee in Seshadri, 2011, 10) But before that, there was Yoga. Eight years ago I started to learn the completely breath centric Desikachar style of Yoga from yoga teacher Ravi Shankar (Chennai). The asanas (postures) are executed as sets of movement sequences, very much like a dance. I allowed the breath to direct my movement through my yoga routine.

It is believed that the breath is the link to the mind. As different qualities are brought to bear on the breath, those same qualities are transferred to the mind… The breath is believed to influence the physiological functioning as it is the vehicle for prana, the energy associated with life. The flow of prana through the body in the most natural and optimal way is greatly influenced by correct breathing.
Ravi Shankar [email]

refer Video 2

By undergoing training in specific modes of embodied practice, this energy associated with breath and its accompanying force or power enlivens and quickens one’s awareness, heightens one’s sensory acuity and perception, and thereby animates and activates the entire bodymind.
Zarrilli, 2009, 19

Scholar, director and actor Phillip Zarrilli refers to the ‘”focus and power” that “aesthetically expressive forms” art forms such as Kathakali provide. (2009, 23) I began learning and practising the South Indian classical dance form Bharatanatyam as a child. The main aspects of the form are its nritta (pure dance movements) and abhinaya (expressive aspect). While both aspects utilise hasta mudras (hand gestures), in abhinaya the gestures take on special meaning and become tools for emotional expression. Dancer Ram Gopal has drawn a link between the hasta mudras and breath:

Life is imparted to the hasta mudra by what are termed the hasta prana, literally meaning ‘breath of life’.
Gopal, 1951, 27

refer Video 3

I started becoming aware of a space that was not devoid of my Indianness and yet there was something else. [journal, September 25] I found myself grappling with the need to be free, and also to allow my classical dance form to enter the space, if that was what came naturally. I was attempting to create a space that was free and sensorial.

Focussing on slow and sustained movement gives me time to experience the movement. To be in the moment, the present state; that space that holds everything - newness, oldness, expanded thought, possibilities, creativity. [journal, September 25]

This would connect to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s work Flow on “flow experience that investigates the nature of heightened attention that brings a sense of being at one with everything”. (David, 2009, 225)

Movement in a cross-legged position:

Why does sitting bring an emphasis to the upper torso region? The fingers started to dance. Is that where the use of hand gestures and facial expressions came from in Bharatanatyam?
[journal, September 26]

An asthma attack ‘reduced’ me to moving in bed.

Is it possible to limit movement to lying down or sitting? What is the difference when breath guides/directs movement? Does it change from movement that is not breath guided? Is mere breathing… considered movement?
[journal, September 28th]

Being unwell, unable to breathe properly… led to the question - what is the role of breath in movement/dance? Can I bring breath into my movement more consciously, with awareness? Can I make it central to my dance practice…?
[journal, October 4th]

refer Video 4

Anna Halprin created what she called a “Movement Ritual”, a set of daily exercises with breath as the focus. These were designed to awaken “body consciousness” and “had the effect of loosening the mind's anticipatory schemata so that the body could relax into a state of naturally responsive actions”. (Halprin in Ross, 2004, 51)

My eyes started to get involved in the movement… circular movement…breath and slow movement… [journal, October 5th]

Anthropologist Judith Lynn Hanna has said of the Ubakala-Igbo of Nigeria:

Women dance slowly and fluidly as they move in circles, whereas men dance rapidly, forcefully and tensely as they create angular lines through space.
Hanna, 2003, 15

Was I then moving from a very ‘male’ tradition
(Bharatanatyam) into something else?

Slowly the arms enter the movement… gestures…
[journal, October 11th]

refer Video 5

Emotions then entered:

Sorrow…at some point breath became very very deep, irregular and … slowed down, but the sorrow did not become less intense. Turning helped shift the mood and and then walking back to peace…there is slow breath in sorrow, slow breath in peace. But intensity changes? [journal, October 17th]

refer Video 6

Tree… sound of waves... [journal, October 17th] – Nature was starting to enter the sphere. As if by coincidence, I attended Charlotte Spencer’s sharing of her work Cycle Stories at Hampstead Heath. [website] Reading scholar Janice Ross’s writing on Anna Halprin’s Still Dance also inspired me:

Stubblefield and Halprin analogized Halprin's aging, woman's body with the most ritualistic and final stage on which we come to perform - the moist embrace.
(Ross, 2004, 62)

Ross also points out that Halprin danced “nude and alone”. (2004, 62)

Decided to dance semi-nude today…Soft breath, quiet sensuality. Deeper breaths, use [moving] of fingers… erotic sexuality… at some point – movements and breath softened…What is the connection between breath, body, sensuality?... breath and sexuality?
[journal, October 18th]

I was beginning to explore:

the lines between stillness ⇒movement, movement ⇒walking, walking ⇒ movement, free movement and classical movement, no gestures ⇒ gestures, slow breath and increased rhythm of breath, light & gentle breath ⇒ intense breath. [journal, October 22nd]

SOUND entered when movements became slow. Conscious sound on the out breath. A hum. [journal, October 22nd] …sound made while watching the trees, birds, sky outside. …started to become the tree… breathing got deeper. As it got deeper, connection to Tree became stronger and suddenly, lightening of breath and slowing down. I became the flower - female. Was the tree male then? Or still female? Felt very one, part of the larger whole called Nature. Does connection with breath lead to that connection with Nature? [journal, October 23rd]

In the meantime, there was the constant dilemma – to dance in the studio or outdoors with a Tree? Becoming the Tree was a recurring feature of Practice… looked at the clouds… sound of waves in my mind…What is the connection between breath, bodymind and Nature? [journal, November 4th]

Zarrilli defines “bodymind” as “a deeply felt, resonant inhabitation of the subtle psychophysical dimensions of the body and mind at work together as one in the moment”.
(Zarrilli, 2009, 4)

I decided my presentation would be natural, spontaneous, in the moment…Performance as an organic extension of practice. [journal, November 9th] But which practice moment? It is a continuous flow, one moment moving into the next, carrying over into the next. I started to view Practice, Space and Breath as a continuum.

I was now ready to dance with the Tree. The video element entered my frame, following an outdoor shoot with dancer and researcher Suparna Banerjee. Anna Halprin’s words formed the subtext of my work outdoors.

refer Video 7

Just as the ancients danced to call upon the spirits in nature, we too can dance to find the spirits within ourselves that have been long buried and forgotten.
Halprin [online]

Time here is slow - very slow. There is a rhythm – it is that of my breath. [journal, November 27th] And there is a sound – it is that of the wind, reminding me of the waves of the sea.

I know my Practice and exploration isn’t over. There is more to explore. [journal, November 25th] Today I placed my Practice in the studio space. How will I respond to the projections? What impact will it have on my movement and emotional state? Also the presence of an audience? [journal, December 10th]